Tuesday, December 11, 2012

2013 Goals and Holiday Blues

Well, it appears I've disappeared from the social media scene for a while. Even been completely off Facebook. Gone.  I've fallen off the face of the planet.  Contemplated getting rid of every social media account I have. But, I reasoned with myself that would be silly.  Maybe it was the past 8 straight days I just worked...and now I'm so tired I can't even enjoy my day off... I feel like everyday I got home from work I was falling apart. I am falling apart.  Emotionally, physically and spiritually.

This is me this Christmas Season ha! okay not really me.  But it was funny.
There have been other personal things I've had to deal with this season that have had me absolutely tore up in a mix of emotion...like anger and serious frustration. I can't seem to get my act together.  I feel like such a butt! I'm generally working different shifts daily and dealing with human beings who aren't well and I have to solve all their problems.  I may be exaggerating ... but just a little.  I just got burned out. Trying so hard to live a full life and keep up with tweets, posts, blogs, workouts, pins....it can be mind draining. And I'm not even exactly good at any of it. You know the whole not having a computer thing and trying to do all things social from a stupid "smart phone".
Anyway.
So this gave me time to reflect. Time to think. To find out why I feel what I do is never enough. Never good enough.  Winter and the holiday season can be difficult for some.  And I'm no exception.  I won't bore you with my whole life story (but I will say I've never had a stable life growing up as a child going through 4 step dads, moving countless times and never getting to see my family in Oklahoma because we got moved out here to NC.  Then I got married, had a kid and divorced yada yada...see I told you it would be a long, boring story) but running has been my one vice. My one help during these times. Where I feel free and at peace. But at this moment I feel like it isn't helping.  The few runs I can get in feel hard.  I'm just sad. Really, really sad. I feel lazy and unmotivated. This blog is supposed to be Flying Feet in FAITH. Where has it gone?  Another reason I took time off of the social media world. To try and spend more time with the One source who can heal all broken, lonely and sad hearts. I still can't seem to shake this funk. Usually setting some sort of goal helps. I regret to say I couldn't stick with the #RWRunstreak due to the Christmas tree.  :-/  I really can't run on my lunch break because we have no showers or similar facilities to clean up and I'm sure my co-workers wouldn't appreciate that...
And so it brings me to think of my goals for next year. I can not function without a goal apparently. Since being an adult I have discovered that having, setting and achieving goals brings so much satisfaction in life. I have been reading about some pretty inspiring goals such as 13x13.1 races in 2013. My problem?  Even thinking about affording 13 races!  Races fees can range from $25-$100+ depending on race and distance. (Another blueish kinda thing creeping up this season..trying to afford daily living and Christmas for the kid, nephews, nieces etc etc) Fun runs are generally cheaper. Maybe I could do 13 Fun Runs with my kid! ....hey. now that's an idea. If I can sucker my little guy into that. Ha!
So now that I may have totally depressed you all with my blue Christmas spirit... I just had to get it out of my system. Lord help me get through this.
What are you goals for the new year? I have a crazy one or two. Break 22 minutes in the 5k. My fastest official time for 2012 was 24:02. I told you it was crazy.  But my main goal is to run a sub-4:00 marathon. I think I can do this. My training plan will take full swing in the first week of January after the kid goes back to school and I can revive my treadmill!

This is my Crazy reach goal for the end of 2013.  My first was to break 30, then 25, then maybe 20???

For anyone else who struggles here is a link I found:
I came across this article from Psychology Today and found it very helpful and full of practical tips- "Running Away from the Holiday Blues" from the article,  "It's the marathon that has taught me these techniques, and I have to believe they'll work for others. In a 26.2-mile race, the last few miles can feel grueling. Unlike the first miles, when a runner feels her strongest, the last miles break her down, just as the last months of the year tax the verve right out of many of us."
That hit home for me.



**Please someone, anyone, out there tell me I am not alone in these feelings during the holidays??  Does setting goals help you cope with life? Or am I just a weirdo?  Don't feel obligated to answer that last question.**

8 comments:

  1. Please look on the bright side.
    I was just Let Go from my new promising career move.
    I've moved over 75 times in my life...unstable? Ha! I've moved much less as an adult though.
    Family? Most of my family is in jail and the one's that aren't probably should be. I have no family.
    I am keeping the faith and I can't continue to put my head in a hole when things get bad. I have to start reaching out for support and friendship but how do you do that? I have apparently been quiet as well.
    Setting goals is the only way to get through life and be successful.
    I hope things get better, you deserve the best and I have no doubt you will find it.
    Yes you are a weirdo but aren't we all a little wierd?

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing. I think we tend to shy away from people when we need them the most. And you know, after I typed this post up I felt better getting it all out. And even a little silly for getting so upset. But I think its so important to be raw in honesty for the benefit of others. To know we are not alone ! I hope the best for you. I can't imagine losing my job. I think of that when I've complained about work. As humans we can be ungrateful. But we try our best. Keep in touch!

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  2. I can totally relate how you feel! I have different issues, but feel the same way. Recently I also took of some time from social media and was just overwhelmed. Slowly I'm getting back, but made some changes. For me it is less the holiday blues, it is more the short days and all this darkness outside (maybe a type of seasonal depression?). I really hope you feel better very soon: After rain comes sunshine! :)

    Love the fun run idea!!

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    1. It must be the colder air, darker days... I am a sunshine baby! I need my vitamin D!! Thank you so much. After I got this all out of my system I felt mucho better. :-)

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  3. I totally get it! I so want to love this time of year! As a Christian, it is such an important loving time...so why do I just want it over with?? I work as a Santa's helper to make some extra money which means another year of being so busy, not seeing my family and rushing through Christmas:( of course I am slap dab in the middle of marathon training (that I havent even registered for yet) I feel like everything is suffering. Sigh! If you find the joy in Christmas..let me know!

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    1. I am so with you! You know I'm also a believer and our focus is on the blessing of the Lord! I think it's the ways of this world that tend to make us stray and get focused on the negativity instead of nativity! I'm so glad to know I'm not alone but I will say a prayer for you! Extra cash is much needed this time of year but so stressful to work for it. I hope we both find JOY this season!

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  4. I have been feeling this way a lot lately. Christmas brings back wanting to feel magic like we did as a child. When the magic fades from stress the darkness creeps in. Give it time it will pass. I think we are all working strait 10-12 hour days. Take a breath and don't be to hard on yourself you are amazing and the magic will come back! http://www.runnersky.net/_blog/Blog/post/When_the_Road_Is_Cold_and_Dark/ I felt this way just a few days ago.

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    1. You're so right about wanting that magic like a child again. When things were simple! Thank you so much. I tend to forget to breathe sometimes. Especially at work! I will find myself holding it in. Thank you for sharing your post!!

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Thanks for the love :~)