Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Little Runner Who Couldn't...Firecracker 10k

I wish I could say I totally rocked out there...well I did for the first half but then something odd happened. My body decided it wasn't going to work with me. It was a fight from hell.
When you cross the finish line you're supposed to hear woohoo!  Not oh no! Gah.
My blood pressure dropped and my heart rate spiked. About half-mile from the finish I got very woozy, almost tripped but caught my balance. So I decided to walk. Until I finally saw the finish line then I sprinted. And then I collapsed.
I tried to get my act together but I literally could not get up. My chest hurt so bad and everything was spinning.  So the volunteers decided to get the medics and get me oxygen. Then I guess I started panicking then they gave me Ativan...I've never had drugs. It was weird. I'm pretty sure I told volunteer fireman he was cute...there's some humor in this but not much. 
I hydrated for this race so well my pee was clear I tell you!  I had a huge spaghetti dinner night before. I can not for the life of me figure out why this happened. It scared me. But I did cross that finish line!  Not with my goal time due to walking ... 56:58. Arg!!
And this is how I felt:
I felt like a sissy girl.
I felt like a failure.
Just go ahead and call me loser.
I was humiliated.
I had decided I'm not a real runner.
I'm going to quit running.
My pride took a serious blow. (Not that I had much to begin with..I saw all the other serious elite athletes)
I didn't achieve my goal. I ran worse.
The cute girl ahead of me kicked my butt. (Uugh why couldn't she be the one to pass out like a sissy girl!?)
This run was a battle for me.  You can see my sign took a beating too. 
I begin to ask myself if I trained hard enough.
If I can run 12 miles without any issues, what happened today?
I know God has a reason for everything. If nothing else, I'm here to prove to you, there will be not so awesome runs and races. I'm allowing myself to stew over it. I wanted to quit running long before I did and I didn't. And I did manage to cross the finish line.  So I won the battle but not the goal. I guess hydrate more??  Maybe bring a water bottle on the run. One bystander was so cool and had her water hose to soak the passing runners. I wanted to kiss her face.
Or maybe leave the 10ks for fall/spring were its not as humid and hot.  I do know I have a super sensitive little body that anything I take, eat or drink it will let me know exactly how it feels about it!  And today I guess I ticked it off...you know what though...there will be more races.

I'm not a quitter.



16 comments:

  1. Awww that really stinks, I am so sorry, You will rock it out for sure next time!

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    1. Thank you sweetie! That's my plan. No more stressfull days at work days before race! I blame walmart haha! ;)

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  2. So glad you are ok!!

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    1. Thank you! Me too. I will get back at it and work harder! Hopefully work harder to prevent this kinda spell from happening again!

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  3. I'm so sorry this happened but glad you are OK. Wow, your time is still amazing though! Don't give up, you are a true runner!

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  4. Thank you Stacy! That means a lot to me!

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  5. Hey Jessica. I'm sorry that this happened to you but I am very happy that you are ok. And for that long of a run that's still not a bad time! We are cheering you on!

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  6. Thank you Bryan!! If I've ever wondered how many people cared for me today proved I'm loved. GOD is good! I couldn't be more grateful.

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  7. Oh, you sweet hing! So sorry for your 'discomfort' (ahem....), but your attitude about it all is great! And, isn't that what ultimately counts the most? You are an awesome example! Keep on truckin', walkin', runnin'...WHATEVER, just keep ON!! :~)

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement!! :) and yes, attitude is half the battle!

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  8. You FINISHED the race, that's the important part. Just like in life, we're gonna get knocked down, have setbacks, but the important part is to get back up and keep going. And you have done that, in the race and in your life. In our weakness, His strength is shown and He is glorified. We learn from our mistakes and do things differently the next time, so that we succeed. You are not a sissy girl and I know you are not a quitter. You ROCK!! :-D

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  9. thank you Jo!! I'm praying that God will somehow use this to glorify His name...still not sure how my freak out incident will do that but God works in mysterious ways! :) and you woman, now You ROCK!!

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  10. You should go back and find the fireman and thank him. See if he really is cute & get yourself a date. ;-)
    Of all the self butt kicking you did, I think the most important words of all were "I'm not a quitter" Remember those words, you will need them often thru your life.
    You're a good kid Messy Jessie, and you've grown into a beautiful, wonderful lady & mom. I'm not only glad to be reconnected with you, but I am proud to have you as one of "my kids" & I am proud of who you are & will be in the future.
    Love ya kiddo! :-)

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    1. Thank you Lisa! That means the world to me! :) if I wasn't so chicken I would go find him. But I am too embarrassed to show my face lol!

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  11. Oh noes you poor thing! July races are just tough, what with the heat and humidity. I hope you can figure out what the deal was so it doesn't happen again!!!

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    1. You know I'm thinking I must have a super sensitive body. I've been trying to get outdoors more for runs and the heat & humidity really wipe me out. I bring my water bottle with me every run and that seems to help some. I think I should've eaten more at breakfast too....gah nutrition really counts doesn't it?!

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Thanks for the love :~)