I wish I could say I totally rocked out there...well I did for the first half but then something odd happened. My body decided it wasn't going to work with me. It was a fight from hell.
When you cross the finish line you're supposed to hear woohoo! Not oh no! Gah.
My blood pressure dropped and my heart rate spiked. About half-mile from the finish I got very woozy, almost tripped but caught my balance. So I decided to walk. Until I finally saw the finish line then I sprinted. And then I collapsed.
I tried to get my act together but I literally could not get up. My chest hurt so bad and everything was spinning. So the volunteers decided to get the medics and get me oxygen. Then I guess I started panicking then they gave me Ativan...I've never had drugs. It was weird. I'm pretty sure I told volunteer fireman he was cute...there's some humor in this but not much.
I hydrated for this race so well my pee was clear I tell you! I had a huge spaghetti dinner night before. I can not for the life of me figure out why this happened. It scared me. But I did cross that finish line! Not with my goal time due to walking ... 56:58. Arg!!
And this is how I felt:
I felt like a sissy girl.
I felt like a failure.
Just go ahead and call me loser.
I was humiliated.
I had decided I'm not a real runner.
I'm going to quit running.
My pride took a serious blow. (Not that I had much to begin with..I saw all the other serious elite athletes)
I didn't achieve my goal. I ran worse.
The cute girl ahead of me kicked my butt. (Uugh why couldn't she be the one to pass out like a sissy girl!?)
This run was a battle for me. You can see my sign took a beating too.
I begin to ask myself if I trained hard enough.
If I can run 12 miles without any issues, what happened today?
I know God has a reason for everything. If nothing else, I'm here to prove to you, there will be not so awesome runs and races. I'm allowing myself to stew over it. I wanted to quit running long before I did and I didn't. And I did manage to cross the finish line. So I won the battle but not the goal. I guess hydrate more?? Maybe bring a water bottle on the run. One bystander was so cool and had her water hose to soak the passing runners. I wanted to kiss her face.
Or maybe leave the 10ks for fall/spring were its not as humid and hot. I do know I have a super sensitive little body that anything I take, eat or drink it will let me know exactly how it feels about it! And today I guess I ticked it off...you know what though...there will be more races.
I'm not a quitter.